peds

When I was 19, I sold shoes at Kinney’s Summit Mall. When a guy bought shoes, he’d grab one off the rack and say: “you got this in a 17 EEE?’ I’d tell him they sell boats down the street and that would end it.

Sell a woman a pair of shoes, bring the sleeping bag and a change of underwear.  She’ll try on every ladies shoe in her size then ask ME to pick a pair out for her. Helping a lady putting on a shoe, then taking it off,then puttin on another shoe and taking it off and on and on – must I say she had been hitting one store after another for two hours before she landed on me?  Well, it gave me a perspective of human life I’d rather forget.

2014 Olympic Security

Today President Putin announced that Russian Security services kept a tight leash on 700 suspected terrorists during the 2014 Winter Olympics. The bodies of these suspects may be claimed by family members for 200 drachmas per traitor. Attached leashes cost 6 drachmas extra.

The MUsic Most Encrusted inside my brain – fire hazard it is.

Beatles, Stones, the Who, Steely Dan, Beethoven, Queen… I’m trying to think of what anybody under 40 might enjoy.  I heard Linkin Park once.  They were pretty good.

Snoop Dogg – love him, hate him, throw him under prison for the rest of his life, he crafted a convincing persona: Snoop, Chuck D., Eminem, others.  Come up with different somebody. You all can’t be the most serious baddass on the block.

1014 Games

I’m worried about the Sochi Games. So is Sochi and Putiin. She and the russian Prez have known each other since since Dr. Putin asked embarassing questions to Sochi after she alledgedly was deemed insane by the old Soviet courts. They’ve changed – everybody’s better now. Putin has given up- he said this morning on early morning russian radio ballet show. Yes, they radiocast ballet in Russia: you think they’re fat american pigs?

If you are watching an ice racing event in Sochi and you pull out a cell phone, 200 RUssian troops are going to empty their clips into you and the ten people sitting around you. Then the Russian troops are going to fire 200 pounds into each other because how do they know the soldier next to him is a terrorist?

I’m 65 years of age which means I am old enough to run for president. PLANK #!: Do something about this terrorist bullshit. PLANK#2: Do you know that dinosaurs are growing inside the earth and they want eat the green and leafy vegetables we have growing on our surface. They don’t care about peanuts or that crap. We got to do something about this bullshit.

Enough!

“Awesome sauce!” I heard it the other day, I can’t remember where. A person was responding in a positive way for some reason. From my very birth I had hoped to travel through this wicked life without hearing the phrase “awesome sauce”. My hope has been squashed. Has my life been worthwhile despite this? Of course… because suicide is a sin.

Birthday Blue

My first grandchild, William Heath IV was born today at 2:15 pm EST in Carrollton, GA. He’s 19.5 inches tall with his shoes off and 7 lb, 2 oz soaking wet. Pictures forthcoming. My daughter Amanda is in fine spirits despite all she went through today. My son-in-law Will looks like he got hit with a 2×4. I know the feeling!

Here’s some Christmas cheer for ya!

THE SECOND COMING

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: a waste of desert sand;
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds.

The darkness drops again but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

William Butler Yeats