SEXSLAVE.COM PROFILE: “A few words about me”

SWM from Texas:

Introduction: The End Is Nigh

I am 8’11, 987 pounds. I said extra padding and that’s how I look at it. However, my intelligence both delights and exasperates people. Sometimes I wonder why I haven’t been murdered.

My conversation is witty and profound. although if you want to ask me in to your house after a date, we’ll need to install steel re-enforced furniture and you really should live on the ground floor.

Not to get ahead of ourselves here, but sex with me is difficult but not impossible. it takes a little patience on your part. Just give me 24 hours notice before the assignation.

I am a bit on the wealthy side; not one of your 1% billionaires, but I could fly to Paris this afternoon, stay in a five star hotel and have a wonderful time. Don’t factor this in your decision to date me.

What do I mean “the end is nigh”? God told me ten years ago the exact date the world is going to end. Why he picked me, I”ll never know. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you when. That will spoil the surprise.

Hillary, No

If Bernie Sanders fails to get even one of his proposals passed, he will still be a better president than HRC. I used to work at a secure facility and if I copied top secret documents to my personal computer, I would still be sitting in Leavenworth.

I think HRC has character flaws that disqualify her for the presidency. She lies when she has nothing to gain from it, she has major entitlement issues, her relationship with her husband tells me she willingly trades her dignity and self-respect to gain power. It’s not as if she suffers humiliation because she has a powerful message that needs to be heard. She just wants to be the first woman POTUS. She reminds me of Richard Nixon and if she becomes president, I can see her sharing the same fate.

Kurt Cobain is dead? You’re Shittin’ Me!

Yes, young people of America, Kurt Cobain is dead.  The world lost another great artist, a brilliant poet who expressed the angst, the hurt feelings, the overpowering rage toward mommy for not letting him poop in the kitchen sink. How often did he threw up his hands and wail “life sucks”?
Could anyone who ever attended a Nirvana concert forget Kurt pulling out that expensive duck hunting shot gun, sticking the barrel into his mouth and blowing his brains out – every night! The bassist and drummer scooped up the brains and skull pieces, stuffed them back into the singer’s head and dragged him offstage. He did that not only to escape that horrible woman “Hole”, but for you, shiny baby faces, and me and baby Buffy.

You Know What I Think? You Know What I Think? Tell Me!

Toward the end of every month I publish the parting thought of a person who died no longer that two weeks ago. His corpse is pretty ripe by then because he was embalmed. placed in a coffin and buried.

This month’s parting thought is Andy’s, a 62 y/o man from St. Paul, MN. He owned a bar on Snelling close to the Macalaster College campus. We both played softball at Mac many years ago. I pitched and he batted. Once he puffed his little Nordic chest at me, boasting to me and all in attendance, that HE was “gonna try to, ya know, hit that pitcher(me), ya know, right in the head.” I thought Macalaster prided itself on its extreme selectivity. However, this little cocksucker wiggled his way in somehow – must have been a legacy.

A N Y W A Y – he didn’t hit my head with the softball… if he had..haha… I had a German Luger stashed in my gunny sack. I ripped it off some weedy Nazi brat I killed in WWII, European Theater. Ran my bayo through his neck and “it hurt”.

So, nothing happened, which is good, because I would have traded in my life, why?  to blow the head off this Nazi collaborator? He was a Norwegian and he turned his mother and father into the Quisling secret police for a shot of snoosola. You imagine such perfidy?

Andy sort of of crapped out his life. Didn’t make much of himself: you figure a Mac grad would end up a lawyer or doctor in Chicago or St. Louis, but he stayed in St. Paul. He spent thirty years as a lounge act, playing guitar and singing at Holiday Inns, and other important hotel franchises, around the Twin Cities.

Booze was always in his reach and he drank and drank and drank, ending up a disgusting drunk. At the end, his hands started shaking so bad he would frequently drop his instrument while performing. Andy had to exit the entertainment business without even seven cents in his savings account.

However, Andy still had friends and one staked him forty thousand dollars so he could buy this bar. The Barre Bar, I think it was.

Then one night, Andy dropped dead: I don’t know the particulars. I refused to attend his calling hours but I did fly to ST. Paul on my private jet and drove by the funeral home. Pretty goddamn big of me, don’t you think?

Poor ole Andy has now been dead two weeks – his family embalmed him and buried him in the cold. cold ground. Now before his brain turns to cottage cheese, he wants to play “You Know What I Think? You Know What I Think? Tell Me!”

Go ahead, Andy:

“You know how everybody talking about the Drunk Uncle at Christmas dinner and he wants to kill blacks, Jews, Muslims the whole shaboo. If your Drunk Uncle has a Drunk Uncle you think that Drunk Uncle is necessarily an even worse Drunk Uncle than your Drunk Uncle?”

Andy, what do you think?

“Not necessarily.”

I agree Andy.

Next month’s guest hasn’t died yet.

Take care.

Bernie Sanders Campaign: First Contact

December 19, 2015


I’m at a U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders debate party in Fort Worth along with other Sanders’ supporters. It’s being held at Tommy’s Burgers. My cheeseburg with everything should arrive soon


Fine burger. However, the max volume of the TV was still too low for me to hear and the captions too hard to see. So after signing up to volunteer starting the first of 2016, I went home.

Senator Sanders performed with clarity and passion and the others did well, too. I can live with any Democratic candidate in the White House. Can you imagine Trump or Cruz, or any GOP pretender, sitting behind that big desk in the Oval Office? Or delivering the State of the Union address before Congress. Or even pardoning a turkey at Thanksgiving?

A Typical Exchange From December 15th Debate, Or A Bubble In My Bathwater

WOLF BLITZER: “Republican Candidate XYZ: How would you handle the ISIS situation?”
REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE XYZ “You just gotta be tough. I talked to my dog walker last night and he told me his sister’s friend Katy had another Mexican Muslim baby. What’s going on? They’re entering our country through the wombs of innocent Americans. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton caused the Black Death of 1666. Millions of innocent people croaked big old bubes popping all over. They did it as a joke. Tough. Strong. Sock it to ’em, baby. That’s what Putin needs are tough socks in his wing wang. Don’t cut me off. You ever hear “Boolie Boolie” by Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs? Lot of good foreign policy in that song. I rode on the back of a shark from Havana to Miami. What do ya mean? I’m answering the question. Senator Cruz propositions young men in public toilets. That’s what he does while our brave servicemen and women are dying like flies on shit. Stop with the bell, goddamn it. When I’m president I’ll crucify terrorist leaders Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, Bill, Chelsea, Michelle, her two kids and her mother. Then I’ll pop open the skulls of all the bad children.

Hillary Almost Joined Fleetwood Mac But She Almost Joined The Marines Instead

I remember these “fibs” and “misspeaks”, and when they were exposed, she’d shrug them off and said she got “carried away”. When she claimed she tried to join the Marines after law school, I just had to put my foot down – that’s enough!

Her lies are so dumb, so easily debunked.  Does she have a psychological problem? Her performance at the Benghazi hearings showed she could outwit a committee of idiots with dazzling verbal gymnastics – but should she be president despite her other qualifications?

Sure, I support Sanders but he won’t win.

The only Republican candidate I respected at all was Graham and he’s long gone. The others nauseate me.

I hear the Whig Party is making a comeback.

Ralph Nader?