RACISM FOLLIES

Another racial brouhaha regarding the Oscar’s: one of the red carpet girls in the pre-awards telecast cracked a bad joke about a black actress’s braided hair. The actress was “outraged” at the “racism”, etc, etc. The red carpet girl apologized, said she didn’t mean the remark to be hurtful, blah, blah.

I was watching The View and Whoopi Goldberg commented on both incidents. She said she has known RACISTS in her time and these girl’s actions don’t come anywhere near the bigotry Whoopi has experienced.

These young ladies should be corrected. The Fox girl probably should be canned for unprofessional behavior. However, they are not neo-nazis. Denying a black person a job because they are black is racist.  Throwing garbage on a black family’s yard who moved into a white neighborhood is racist. Turn down the outrage dial everybody (I am as guilty of this as anyone else)- what each girl did was stick her foot in her mouth.

…the ennnnnnnnnnnnnnnd

Sixties ha ha – shall cease — when the last of us dies. No, a major transfiguration with transubstantiation entering through the back door. To bring out the worst in us, allow me to posit: the beginning – going back to that – are all of you keeping up? Not on November 22, 1963 – most talented observers place that date the 60s started: I’m having trouble keeping my thoughts organized.

It began when the Interstate highways were completed, when the grain state, corn and wheat state universities exploded their money piles to build huge dormitories for their boys and women. About that time, Mario Salvo spoke up at Berkeley – I read TIME Magazine back then so I kept abreast. But the very instant the 60s began – was the very instant that last blob of rotted JFK flesh dropped off his bone. THAT’s when it stared – the Beatles had uplifted their minds to the slurpy, runaround God they sought. The PEAK – it lasted an hour (come on!). An hour at most. One lonely hour in over three millennia, however the message was lost when it ker-flopped into a sin hole, that’s what happened, so we or they could only go where a handful of people remember and that didn’t work.

Useless was this message. Stupid. Weak justification for hedonism. “A force of change in the world” I hear that and my guts twist so hard it’s like squeezing pee out of a towel. The previous set of words was inspired by “Star Spangled Banner” by Hendrix. The music revived the whole memory pile. What a drowned, forlorn picture I presented back then! If I don’t stop now, I’ll go clinical.

Theater Dream

I had a theater dream the other night. The show is KING LEAR – I’m playing the Duke of Cornstool, something like that. Anyway, opening night, all the actors in the dressing room are getting ready, the guy playing Lear says, “I only have 72 lines memorized”. Somebody asks, “You mean just one speech?”  Lear says, “No, I mean 72 lines scattered throughout the play.” We all laugh. No one else has any lines memorized at all! So I say, “We all know the story, so let’s just go out there and wing it.”
The house was packed to the gills, but other than a detour or two through the ODD COUPLE and DANCING AT LUGHNASA, we killed. People laughed, they cried, they set themselves on fire. And nobody noticed we were naked from the waist down and wearing mismatched socks.
I guess all we needed was an audience.

The Folly Of Open Carry

Open carry laws have little regard for their effect on third parties, i.e,, the vast majority of people who go about their daily business without feeling compelled to have a gun strapped to their hip. The laws allowing open carry assure citizens that gun-carrying people must be licensed, that felons and mentally disturbed individuals are prohibited from openly displaying weapons. So if I see a person carrying a gun in public, how do I know he is licensed, that he is not a felon or mentally ill? Am I to assume that the gunperson is following the law? Do I even know if the person has the training to handle the weapon in case they do witness a crime being committed?

Any idiot can procure a gun and any idiot can shoot it. How many innocent people will be shot to death because some “hero” decides to play Dirty Harry? Accordingly, I pledge to call the police every time I encounter a private citizen carrying a gun in the open, I will expect the police to ascertain whether the person is qualified to carry the gun. The gun carriers say they have a right to bear arms. I have the right to go out in public without feeling terrorized.

HOW ARE WE DAMNING OURSELVES TODAY? – Part One

The evil attacking us today may surprise you. I sure got a shock when I finally realized what was making our great country sick. As you might remember, I’d log onto the internet every night to comment on the world –  sometimes at weird hours, as my wife put it.   Sorry, my ex-wife. Yes, Molly is gone. Don’t think she left me for another man because this woman is pure. She would nrver commit adultery. Her mother and father taught her the Ten Commandments and she followed them – she loved them because God passed them to Moses who gave them to the people – not just Jews – but gentiles, too! The commandments were never exclusive to the Hebrews (and don’t let anybody tell you different)

But, oh, here I go. boring you all with technical talk regarding the Old Testament when what you really want to hear is who is going to hell and why.  What did they do to deserve everlasting punishment?  Unrepentant sinners they are!.  When their little souls go “poof”, they’ll ride the Hell Hound Express – the hot greasy pipe from their dying place straight down at a speed greater than light into the trillion arms of Satan (O, FEAR!)

However, we, the REDEEMED –  smeared head to toe with the blood and gore of our dead Jesus – that alone protects us so when we are delivereth unto Hell for three 24 hour days – we blast through Beelzebub’s stinking body, his trillion arms cannot stay us and up up up chute we go to OUR REDEEMER LORD OF THE JEWS AND GENTILES, and HE HAS NO ARMS, because HE does not NEED them!

Jesus has the power of divine will, so he can move objects wherever he WILLS them to go. Or He can make them disappear, reappear, or grow them 10,000,000,000,000 bigger or smaller – however He WILLS it to be! If He were ever in the mood, He could shove the whole world up my anus. I doubt very much if he would, it seems a little drastic to me – PLUS if I were to make a judgement about GOD, which I wouldn’t but iet’s pretend, I’d have to say if He shoved the entire WORLD all the mountains and oceans and skyscrapers, up my unseemly asshole, I or you or all of us creatures might conclude that’s just a little bit ungodly of Him. Now I didn’t write that. If I did, may GOD strike YOU down!

Anyway, if God shoved the whole earth up my godforsaken bunghole, and I am on the planet itself at the time, he would then have to shove the world up the asshole of me standing on the world that was shoved up my asshole. On and on it would go, you’d have an infinity worlds being shoved up my asshole and I don’t think my asshole could take it. However if it be God’s will, he could commandeth it to be true despite the limits placed on the elasticity of my asshole.

— I’ll continue this discussion later…

Jesus + 12?

Q: Mister Mark, I read somewhere that the phrase “JESUS CHRIST AND THE TWELVE APOSTLES”, uttered as an ejaculation of incredulity, is inaccurate. Is this true?
— Jupiter of Hamburg

A; Not to quibble, Jupiter, there were actually 14 apostles. Matthias was chosen as an apostle upon the untimely death of Judas Iscariot. However Judas had been an apostle in good standing for two odd years. Despite his perfidy, one cannot rewrite history on this matter and claim he had never been an apostle.

St.Paul is considered by Christians as being an apostle – however, the Catholic Encyclopedia states that anyone who receives a special calling from God is an apostle, which means there may have been hundreds, if not thousands, of apostles throughout history.

To say “Jesus Christ and the ORIGINAL Twelve Apostles” is clearer. This would include the Iscariot but that can’t be helped. Referring to them as the “Original” twelve does seem rather silly, so I must conclude that the statement ,” Jesus Christ and the twelve apostles”, is appropriate.

Palinitis

Did you hear Sarah Palin’s speech at the Iowa Freedom Summit last week? She convinced me that she would be an excellent president. Her eyeglasses indicate intellectual heft. Her mind is not cluttered with facts and ideas. Her gift for language connects her to America’s schizophrenics, a long neglected minority. And, by God, she knows Latin! Above all, she’s not afraid to play the fool to make a political point.