Letter To A Friend

Ms _____:

You are NOT getting old: you are the sole exception to natural law. You look as if you just stepped out of the ’67 yearbook. I tried to step out of the yearbook, but I forgot to OPEN the yearbook first! I had to munch through 50 pages — took me hours to chew through the cover. That’s why I look 60 years old!

I’ll have to work forever. In fact, I am scheduled to work SIX YEARS after I die. This is a new phenomena you might have heard about on CNN — Post-Mortem Employment. I’ll be doing seances, haunting houses at Halloween, that sort of thing.

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