The Environment Stinks

People keep getting on me because I don’t recycle my garbage.  Throw the shit out, I always say.  Why slop through dangerous refuse – cut your hand on a can and some chicken soup wiggles it way into the cut and you’re pumped up six feet with infection.

I don’t go anywhere near the damn environment.  The air is putrid; clouds are toxic, the sun’s too hot.  Ever drink the water?  Poison: heavy metals, arsenic, plutonium, iron, heavy water…  are you disgusted yet?  The forests are vast with thick growths of trees.  Harbored inside the forest are beavers, deer, squirrels and other dangerous beasts: half of whom have rabies.  Stay away from the environment – it’ll kill you.

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