Catch up

WordPress, Facebook: it all gets buried beneath the same iron mountain. I’m transplanting some of my posts from the ladder to the farmer.

To quote Agrippa The Puerile: “There’s no shit like the old shit”

IT STARTS HERE

Yesterday, the US unemployment rate was 7.9048843% Today, it is 7.9048836% Why the difference? I got a job.

The latest election uproar: a recent democratic ad states when Romney was in the third grade his teacher caught him picking his nose. Romney insists he used a hankie. Obama’s campaign staff shrieks that Romney is an unholy liar. Call this scandal Boogergate.

Senatorial candidates Todd Akin and Richard Mourdock issued the following joint statement today: they declared that a woman who gets pregnant by sitting on a toilet seat should be denied an abortion.
The whole damn Eastern US may not exist in a few days! I’ve seen projections showing Sandy reaching all the way to Cleveland!! That city has suffered enough!!! I’m not trying to be an alarmist but the entire USA will be underwater in a few days!!!! The UK will lose a valuable trading partner!!!!!

October 25 is ST. CRISPIN’S DAY. Crispin and his twin brother Crispinian were martyred in 286 AD.
Famous battles fought on St Crispin’s Day: Agincourt 1415; Balaklava 1854; Leyle Gulf 1944. Check out the St. Crispin’s Day speech in Shakespeare’s Henry V!
My pedantry is complete — Heads on desks until the bell rings.

Can anyone out there think of a man or woman who would be a better president of the US besides the current candidates?

Remember, they must be at least 35 years old and a natural born citizen of the USA.

Please try as hard as you can to take this seriously. Your choice may come from any walk of life: politics, business, non-profit, education. Choose somebody brilliant with extraordinary command of the issues, courage, wisdom. Find a person with a creative mind, an original and independent mind: that would be quite a change. A proven and inspirational leader touched lightly by corruption and scandal. Throw in other qualifications as you see fit.

How about HONESTY and INTEGRITY — if taken to the appropriate extreme, this alone could blow out many windows.

Don’t nominate the dead, or cartoon characters, or fictional characters or your pets. I asked my cat is he wanted to run for higher office and he bit my ankle.

Assuming for a fraction of a second I am going to hell when the time comes — who do I email now to to request the temperature of my suite not go over 110 degrees? That’s about as high as I can tolerate. Since I’m going to be there for a while, I might as well be comfortable. Jeez Looeeze, I’m haven’t been that bad a guy. Another thing, can they back off the sulphur a tad? The stuff gives me a dreadful rash.

HAD Your LUNCH YET? If you have already, RATE YOUR LUNCH!!! If not, eat your lunch then RATE YOUR LUNCH!! RATE YOUR LUNCH is the exciting new game show! This is for you! What did you have for lunch? When did you have it? Where? Who prepared it? Did it taste good? Was it packed with nutrients? Did it contain riboflavin? Natural or synthetic plutonium?

Since the fed gov’t is tossing around trillions of dollars here and there, spend a trill to revamp education. This means pre-kindergarten through post-doc along with comprehensive vocational training programs and adult ed. Raise teacher salaries, improve subject knowledge of teachers and find new ways of running classrooms so the kids will sit down, shut up and learn. The amount of time wasted on school discipline is tragic.
Ten years from now you won’t recognize the USA.

Possible solutions to the Unemployment Problem:
1. Convert the USA economy from quasi-capitalism to quasi-socialism.
2. For every unemployed worker a company hires, knock so much off the employer’s federal tax bill. Create your own formula.
3. Cut standard work day to 7 hours. Six and a half hours? Maybe four hours. Hell, just stay at home.
4. Shoot the unemployed.

What percentage of LGBT only assert to be LGBT? How many LGBT pretend to be S or V? How many S are just fooling themselves? I know a person who is a card-carrying V, but, upon investigation, is merely a first-rate condom flaunter. How does this person fit into the morass?
Whenever a high-profile case of murder and mayhem occurs, the major news organizations (including Internet) should agree not to publish the perpetrators name, picture, accounts of what a miserable childhood he had — nothing. Erase this person from the Book of Life. Bury him in obscurity. Sure, sooner of later information about him will probably surface — but with that first flush of glory gone, he will be lost in the weeds.

****
That’s IT!.

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