Trip Status: Spending the night in Van Lick, TX. The Van Licks own this town. About 20 or more Van Lick boys are presently strutting up and down Country Club Blvd firing off shoulder rockets like a bunch of well-armed drunken roosters. I was creeping down the dusty road, hopping from shadow to shadow, when Euripides Van Lick spotted me: “Get off my land, you goddamn Obama voter!” I darted into the CVS and was forced to steal a diet Red Bull and a six-pack of suppositories because nobody would stand at the register to take my money. With my leather coat pulled over my head, I scurried back to the Daisy. I’m well in for the night.