Oregon, New York
1) Height: I am between 3 feet and 8 feet tall depending on the moon’s gravity.
2) Weight: I weigh over 3000 pounds. It will take me an hour to enter your front door. Since I must be transported on a flat-bed truck, maybe we should meet in a nearby mall parking lot.
3) Occupation: I am a professional male ballerina. I am very secure in my masculinity. A ballerina the size of a cement truck? Don’t sit too close to the stage.
4) Travel: I used to go see my girlfriend in Dallas once a year before she sank. She weighed over 7700 pounds. It was love at first sight, but it took several days to turn us around so we could see each other. She died from a flatulence mishap.
5) What I want in a relationship: Romantic love would be great but it’s very hard to find.