HOW ARE WE DAMNING OURSELVES TODAY? – Part One

The evil attacking us today may surprise you. I sure got a shock when I finally realized what was making our great country sick. As you might remember, I’d log onto the internet every night to comment on the world –  sometimes at weird hours, as my wife put it.   Sorry, my ex-wife. Yes, Molly is gone. Don’t think she left me for another man because this woman is pure. She would nrver commit adultery. Her mother and father taught her the Ten Commandments and she followed them – she loved them because God passed them to Moses who gave them to the people – not just Jews – but gentiles, too! The commandments were never exclusive to the Hebrews (and don’t let anybody tell you different)

But, oh, here I go. boring you all with technical talk regarding the Old Testament when what you really want to hear is who is going to hell and why.  What did they do to deserve everlasting punishment?  Unrepentant sinners they are!.  When their little souls go “poof”, they’ll ride the Hell Hound Express – the hot greasy pipe from their dying place straight down at a speed greater than light into the trillion arms of Satan (O, FEAR!)

However, we, the REDEEMED –  smeared head to toe with the blood and gore of our dead Jesus – that alone protects us so when we are delivereth unto Hell for three 24 hour days – we blast through Beelzebub’s stinking body, his trillion arms cannot stay us and up up up chute we go to OUR REDEEMER LORD OF THE JEWS AND GENTILES, and HE HAS NO ARMS, because HE does not NEED them!

Jesus has the power of divine will, so he can move objects wherever he WILLS them to go. Or He can make them disappear, reappear, or grow them 10,000,000,000,000 bigger or smaller – however He WILLS it to be! If He were ever in the mood, He could shove the whole world up my anus. I doubt very much if he would, it seems a little drastic to me – PLUS if I were to make a judgement about GOD, which I wouldn’t but iet’s pretend, I’d have to say if He shoved the entire WORLD all the mountains and oceans and skyscrapers, up my unseemly asshole, I or you or all of us creatures might conclude that’s just a little bit ungodly of Him. Now I didn’t write that. If I did, may GOD strike YOU down!

Anyway, if God shoved the whole earth up my godforsaken bunghole, and I am on the planet itself at the time, he would then have to shove the world up the asshole of me standing on the world that was shoved up my asshole. On and on it would go, you’d have an infinity worlds being shoved up my asshole and I don’t think my asshole could take it. However if it be God’s will, he could commandeth it to be true despite the limits placed on the elasticity of my asshole.

— I’ll continue this discussion later…

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