Indiana 911

Scene: Indiana 911 center.
D(ispacher): 911, may I help you?
C(aller): (Male voice) Yes, part of a satellite fell from the sky and cut my husband’s carotid artery.
D: Your husband?
C: Yes.
D: I see. Well, the gay EMS truck is on a run. They are trying to get an hysterical hair dresser down from a tree which he climbed after a night of cocaine and illicit sex. The truck can make it to your house in 30 minutes.
C: He’ll be dead by then!
D: Okay, there is a Christian truck nearby, First you both must renounce your homosexual lifestyle and accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.
C: Yes! Anything!
D: Write this number down: 471299-903. That’s your Salvation Number. Give that to the EMS tech, he’ll baptize the victim – say, is there a lake or a swimming pool nearby?
C: NO!
D: Just checking. EMS will be right there. Welcome to Paradise, boys!


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