Old Rubber Snake #1

Today I received an email from an old friend of mine – M. Lackey Wubberfark.

Wake up,  Mark!

I’ve been in a real slump lately.  You know how good I am filling my pill pack every week. I take 20 pills a day. Eleven in the morning, three at noon, and four at night, Does that add up to twenty?  My pill pack is, then, is 7 little cups times 3 little cups. I put the pills in the right cup and I’m good.  I can shake out exactly seven of each pill, exactly the same number I need to fill a row.  

If  I’m feeling brave, I’ll shake out 14 pills at a time and cover two weeks! Two weeks ago I did a complete three week, twenty-one day Sowcow! Last week I did a Sowcow but with 4 1/2 rotations with slight bobble at the end that only cost me a half a point.

Today, though, I couldn’t pull out seven at a time. I had to put in all 140, one pill at a time. Very discouraging, but I will never quit! I’ll compete in Professional Pill Packing until I give myself the last overdose.

Did you melt down your car last weekend?

My blood pressure meds are kicking in and I’m ready to drop over.

Your Good Buddy, Lack”

Some times a little thing can be a big thing and a little thing can be a little thing. Whoa, that’s not right… A big thing can be a horse.  Okay?

Until Next Time,

Mark

Magic Fruit

A single brave blueberry jumped happily out of my cereal bowl onto the dining room carpet. This is not a serious carpet in an Old World sort of way, but it has tough, wiry fabric: don’t want to mess around with it.

Where is the fallen fruit? I examined that rug with an electron microscope — nothing. I rolled on the floor then took off my shirt and looked for a dead blueberry. Forget it. Finally, I tried aerial viewing by swinging upside down on the dining room chandelier. I quit.

A fourth dimension exists. And when you enter it, you’ll find billions of massive piles of assorted items. These are all things lost by human beings over the last 100,000 years: keys, hypodermic needles, sunglasses, wallets, many billions of dollars, babies, purses, playthings, fruit, and more.

You look around and say to yourself: “So this is the astral plane.” You approach a peddler.

” Sir, I am looking for a Cro-Magnon arrowhead. Do you have any?”

“Yes! We have them! Many, many, good sir!”

Then you ask: “I also seek a single blueberry — ”

“No, no, we don’t carry such things. Sorry.” You walk away.

Then he calls out: “Check at one of the higher dimensions!”

We’ll Spam Them To Death! Next Step Of The Resistance

The Electoral College let us down so we are left to our own devices. These devices are our computers with internet connections and cell phones.

The mighty numbers of The Disaffected can be organized as a network of cyber-attackers, emailing millions of empty messages to different government offices everyday, crashing their servers. Flooding their phone lines with nonsense calls. Every hour of every day.

Focus on offices involved with building the stupid wall, deporting illegals and registering Muslims. In the same spirit, do the same to Trump’s private properties, especially the hotels. Impede their ability to take reservations. No reservations, no money.

Perhaps computer experts know of more sophisticated techniques where millions of connected computers and cell phones can wreak havoc. Organize “cyber” mass demonstrations. No need to take buses to Washington, DC and camp on the Mall. Just send an email or two a day and make a couple of phone calls,

Vlad the Ventriloquist and His Dummy Donald

Check out the Keith Olbermann anti-Trump videos on You Tube. They are brilliant. He states unequivocally that Comrade Trump is a Russian puppet along the lines of the rulers the Soviet Union installed in Eastern European countries after World War II.

I am convinced the Russians approached Trump before the summer of 2015 and talked him into running for president. They even advised him to run a Nazi-style campaign that would appeal to uneducated whites.

The Russians want to expand their influence in the world and, for that to happen, they need a cooperative U. S. President. Remember, the Russians are COMMUNISTS and there is no reason for us to assume that they have forsaken their dream of world domination.

Republican Electors! THE SHOW IS OVER! You know this madness cannot go on! SAVE US!

The Electoral College meets on December 19 – only FIVE days away.

There is a movement among Republican electors to support another candidate. We know that won’t be Clinton. Democratic electors should agree to support a sane Republican for president. Only 37 Republicans need to switch to the new candidate and Trump is through. Put partisan differences aside. Save our country.

HOW LONG? HOW LONG??

Three weeks of Trump posing as president-by-fluke and I am so disgusted, I am becoming unhinged. Four years of him and America is through. It will take years and years to recover. Revoke a person’s citizenship as a punishment for a crime? If he makes such an idiotic statement after he is inaugurated, that should be enough to impeach him. In fact, let him keep his business relationships as they are. If his company makes a nickel from a foreign government while he’s in office, impeach him and remove him from office.

By the way, he promised after the election he would release his tax returns. Perhaps a patriotic civil servant could be persuaded to leak them.

WE HATE YOU!

Sessions, Flynn, Trump. Pence, Bannon: maybe they aren’t the best choices for their jobs, but you gotta admit:these boys can hate. They are real pros about it, too. Get them together, fill their gullets with booze and watch the contempt, disgust, rancor, spite and loathing pour out of them in great, greasy, green globs. They make quite a mess, but it’s fun, like kids playing in the mud. Green, stinking mud.